Dads vs. Distractions: The Battle for Your Attention

Hey there,

If you've ever felt guilty looking at your phone when you should be focused on your kids, you're not alone.

I'm not proud to admit this, but I'm distracted by my phone multiple times a day—even when I'm with my kids. I have a bad habit of constantly pulling it out of my pocket, just to check for notifications I didn't even hear or feel.

It's not the example I want to set. But the reality is, it's hard to resist. Apps are intentionally designed to pull us in and keep us there as long as possible, often with meaningless alerts. ("Your friend liked someone else's post from two days ago." Seriously?)

Sometimes I'll catch myself holding my phone while playing Uno with my kids. Why? Can't I go just 15 minutes without it? Aren't those 15 minutes worth giving my kids 100% of my attention?

I know they are, and they deserve nothing less.

People check their phones around 144 times daily—that's once every 10 minutes on average! Each time we peek at our phones, our attention is pulled away from the moment we're in, and from what truly matters.

I once had a coworker who would stop by my desk to chat. I'd pause my work to engage with him, but within seconds, he'd pull out his phone and start scrolling. Think about that—he made the effort to talk to someone face-to-face, yet couldn't resist checking his phone for some hot Facebook gossip.

If this bothered me, a grown adult who (usually) has a grip on my emotions, imagine how our kids feel when we're playing with them but constantly splitting our attention between them and our screens. When I catch myself doing this, I physically stuff my phone under a cushion to remove the distraction. That simple move makes it easier to fully focus on playing and connecting with my kids.

4 Simple Ways to Minimize Phone Distractions:

✈️ Airplane Mode + Timer
Turn your phone on airplane mode—no texts, calls, or emails will interrupt you. Set a timer for however long you'll be playing (10, 20, or 30 minutes). When the timer goes off, you can check your phone again. You'll have enjoyed genuine, uninterrupted playtime, and your kids will have your full attention.

🔕 Turn Off Notifications for Non-Essential Apps
Consider disabling notifications for apps you don't urgently need. For example, I've turned off Instagram messages, and now I just catch up on memes and messages once a day or so. Do the same with any apps that aren't truly essential—you'll notice the difference right away.

↔️ Physically Separate Yourself from Your Phone
If you're headed to the yard, leave your phone inside. If you're going into the playroom, keep your phone on your bedroom dresser. When your phone is in a completely different room, you'll be far less tempted to check it impulsively, and you'll find yourself more naturally engaged with your kids.

📵 Create "Phone-Free" Zones or Times
Choose specific areas of your home (the dinner table, family room) or particular times of day (dinner, bedtime stories) that become strictly phone-free. Clear boundaries help everyone in the family build healthier, screen-free habits and ensure focused family room time.

Time to Take Action

Here's your challenge for the week:

Choose just one of these tips and put it into action. Hide your phone. Switch it off. Create a phone-free zone. Embrace the brief panic of an empty pocket—and experience the joy of being fully present and connected.

I'm doing this challenge too. Next week, I'll share my experience, and if you reply to let me know how you did, I'll feature some of your stories as well. Which tip did you try, and what difference did you notice?

Ready? Let's do it! Sure, an empty pocket might feel strange at first, but soon enough, those focused, meaningful moments with your kids will feel far more valuable than having your phone within reach.

See you next Thursday,
Ted